Marriage Rules by Harriet Lerner: 9781592407453 | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books (2024)

FAQs

What is the #1 rule of marriage? ›

The Golden Rule.

Treat your significant other the way you would want to be treated. Be the person you would want to be married to.

Follow the four golden rules – don't lie, keep your promises, argue productively and always play nice – and your relationship will never go anywhere but forward.

The marriage age is generally 18 years, with the exception of Nebraska (19) and Mississippi (21). In addition, all states, except Delaware, allow minors to marry in certain circ*mstances, such as parental consent, judicial consent, pregnancy, or a combination of these situations.

So what is it? The 2-2-2 Rule involves going on a date night every two weeks, spending a weekend away every two months and taking a week-long vacation away every two years. The idea behind it is that prioritizing and planning to spend time together strengthens your relationship.

Here's how the 777 Rule works: every seven days you go on a date, every seven weeks you go away for the night and every seven months the two of you head off on a romantic holiday. It might sound a tad prescriptive, and an à deux holiday almost twice a year could be one too many, but nevertheless we get the point.

The golden rule: “Treat others how you want to be treated”.

The hope is that you feel highly enough about yourself as a human that you would treat others with the same dignity and respect that you yourself feel you deserve (I have many conflicting thoughts on this topic though, so expect another blog post soon).

A good marriage practices mutual submission. Ephesians 5:21 commands us to submit to one another out of reverence to Christ. Marriage is not a 50/50 deal. It's a 100/100 deal—each willing to surrender all to the other person.

Recalling that article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that: (1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family.

Marriage involves spiritual, emotional, and physical closeness. In the Old Testament, we are taught, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Married couples are meant to be unified in every possible way.

Respect each other

One of the greatest rules of a happy marriage is respect. Even when you're fighting, you have to maintain respect for each other in order for things to work. It's important to keep calm when you have disagreements. It's OK to get angry, but never resort to name calling or spiteful comments.

What is Rule 1 in a relationship? ›

The first rule of relationship harmony is all about speaking respectfully.

What is the 1-1-1-1 rule? This rule breaks down into four key commitments: 1 Week vacation alone each year: A yearly child-free getaway allows you to reconnect as a couple, rekindle romance, and focus on shared interests outside of parenthood. 1 Date night every week: Ditch the distractions!

Tech-savvy couples know this means to limit talk to the most pertinent points, usually in three sentences. Pause. Give your partner a chance to respond.