Little Sharp Toothed Privates - Chapter 19 - Moxibustion (RyuuzaKochou) - Star Wars (2025)

Chapter Text

[COMM-STARTLINE 3245.96867854.0042.998925.11.256.568]

[LINE//ENCRPT77.00.54390857,325569BEDRGJ6345.99994444.8509.21059318.666822///856746/SUBSUB09/RELTRACODE0000.99-FREQ/BNCE345478NFRTYFDRF22250.99/DEDSEC/FIRWL77.96/LABRYNT]

[Relay_open_dedsec_locked_firwl_locked_labrynt_locked]

/open_chatlog02

/chatlog02=O’Niners Rookies

/add_comm#CT-0409

/acc:_GAR_CT_databank-14094/encrptpc46AA0p4HR6671NK_commreg_autolink

/asn#CT-0409usenEcho_user,#CT-5555usenFives_user,#CT-4040usenCutup_user,#CT-782usenHevy_user,#CT-2010usenDroidbait_user

/asn#CT-0409usenEcho_admin,#CT-5555usenFives_admin,#CT-4040usenCutup_admin,#CT-782usenHevy_admin,#CT-2010usenDroidbait_admin

[Run_Setup]

Encryption Accepted

Commands Accepted

Signal Found

Signal Locked

Commline “O’Niners Rookies” Is Active

Welcome, Echo

Cutup: So.

Cutup: Now what?

Hevy:

Hevy: … I don’t know.

Commline 501st Is the GREATEST (Opinions of the 212th not permitted) is Active

[87 Members are Online]

On The (Hard)Case: I’m telling you, there’s something aboard this ship!

For Kix And Giggles: Oh, here we go again.

Mixed Emotions: Vod, there’s a lot of things aboard this ship. Us, for a start.

On The (Hard)Case: No! Something else! I SWEAR something was scuttling in the vents the other day! I heard it, plain as day!

Hood & Jesses: Case, have you been to the engineers special room again? Because the Captain will make us get rid of the special equipment and it’s special creation if we hit it too hard.

Mixed Emotions: You can say moonshine, vod, we’re not thirdies for force’s sake.

Hood & Jesses: hhhsssssssttttt! Shut it, you di’kut! The Commander is in this chat!

Appoachable: I hate to tell you this, trooper, but I do, in fact, drink booze.

Hood & Jesses: I didn’t mean you, sir, I meant…

[The Padacommander Is Online]

The Padacommander: Hey guys! Are we still pretending the still in engineering doesn’t exist? Is that a thing we’re doing?

The Padacommander: Because I found out about that on, like, day two aboard.

Appoachable: Oh. THAT Commander.

Hood & Jesses: Welp, that’s it, I’m off to the airlock before the Captain finds out. Have a nice life, everyone!

Appoachable: You fear Rex more than you fear me, Sargeant?

Hood & Jesses: Without condition, yes sir. I’ve seen him fight.

Hood & Jesses: And also, I have sparred with both of you and you, at least, gave me a fighting chance, unlike Captain Rabid Honeymynock.

The Padacommander: Your face was HILARIOUS Jesse, Skyguy laughed for DAYS.

Hood & Jesses: I’m aware, Commander.

The Padacommander: Hey, no ranks in the chat! That was the rule!

Appoachable: I always thought that was more of a guideline.

The Padacommander: No, that was the rule and no take backsies!

For Kix And Giggles: And a new rule I’m making just now is no visiting the ‘special’ section of engineering for YOU, @The Padacommander , or you will regret it with every fibre of your montrals.

The Padacommander: I know, you’ll tell Skyguy.

For Kix And Giggles: I’ll tell General Kenobi.

The Padacommander:

The Padacommander: You are SCARY, Kix.

For Kix And Giggles: Thank you. My trainer would be proud.

For Kix And Giggles: Then he’d probably try to stab me with a scalpel again.

Mixed Emotion: Kix, what the kriff??

Co(le)ric: Mij Gilamar did not kark around, vod.

Co(le)ric: When he set out to train combat medics, he karking trained COMBAT MEDICS

For Kix And Giggles: Remember the scalpel throwing lessons?

Co(le)ric: Remember the sudden blood explosions?

For Kix And Giggles: Surgery simulations under live fire.

Co(le)ric: Carrying the heaviest training dummy in storage.

For Kix And Giggles: All the way up the city pylons.

Co(le)ric: In the storms. Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Co(le)ric: Whether I want to or not.

Denial: That explains, wow, so much about you two…

The Padacommander: Wait, is that going to be a part of advanced first aid tests??

For Kix And Giggles: I can’t reveal the exam type beforehand, you know that.

The Padacommander: THAT DOESN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION KIX!!!!!!

The Padacommander: Oh force, was I wrong to focus on the theory modules? SHOULD I HAVE BEEN STRENGTH TRAINING THIS WHOLE TIME????

The Padacommander: THE TEST IS NEXT WEEK

Co(le)ric: Don’t worry you’ll do fine, Commander.

Co(le)ric: General Skywalker wouldn’t just spring a surprise test on you like that.

Hood & Jesses: frantic throat cutting motions

Denial: @Co(le)ric shutupshutupshutup

The Padacommander: I am soooooo DEAD! 😭😭😭😭

Co(le)ric: What? What???

For Kix And Giggles: It’s something that happened before you were here, Coric. I’ll explain later. And I’ll roll out the ‘Spectrum of Medics Wrath’ chart to show you just where General Skywalker sits on the cold probe scale right now.

Co(le)ric: General Skywalker gets COLD PROBES?

For Kix And Giggles: When I explain it, you’ll know exactly why.

For Kix And Giggles: He knows what he did.

The Padacommander: Wait, what does all that mean?

For Kix And Giggles: Don’t worry your stripy little montrals about it Commander. The General knows all about it.

Hood & Jesses: Yeah. Kix explained it to him. In very, very, VERY fine detail.

Appoachable: There were slideshows.

The Padacommander: … okay???

On The (Hard)Case: COULD WE GET BACK TO MY THING PLEASE I’M TRYING TO VENT FOR THE SAFETY AND SECURITY OF THE BATTALION HERE!

On The (Hard)Case: Anyway.

On The (Hard)Case: There’s SOMETHING, or SOMETHINGS, in the vents. I can hear them in there!

Denial: Is that what your problem is? Fill out a 725/4J form, report the vermin sighting and let pest control deal with it.

On The (Hard)Case: I did! But the Captain wouldn’t approve the forms!

Appoachable: Why the kriff did you send them to Rex? He’s spec ops, not maintenance!

On The (Hard)Case: He was with me when I heard them! I figured a senior officer’s signature would get the fumigation process running sooner! That’s how it usually works!

On The (Hard)Case: But he just said it was nothing to worry about and didn’t sign off on it!

On The (Hard)Case: But he heard them! I know he did!

Denial: You know, now that we’re on the subject, has anyone else noticed Rex acting really weird lately? Like REALLY weird?

The Padacommander: You mean like how he locks himself in the aft training room every afternoon and won’t let anyone in there for the entire time?

Appoachable: I didn’t know about THAT. How long has he been doing that?

The Padacommander: Like, the last week or so?

Hood & Jesses: Is that weird, though? For Rex?

Mixed Emotions: What about the fact that he’s taking a meal every meal shift. I know a vod who works in the mess and he said Rex is taking a new tray every three hours.

For Kix And Giggles: He what now?

Hood & Jesses: Maybe he’s just hungry.

Denial: That’s nothing, I heard from the commspecs that he’s using his entire data limit to download a bunch of training modules from Kamino. Basic spec ops ones, the sort of stuff I’m pretty sure he should already know? Like, why????

Hood & Jesses: They might have changed them or something, Rex likes to be on top of stuff, that’s not in any way abnormal, right?

On The (Hard)Case: He’s been acting weird since he got back from Rishi. I don’t think he’s been sleeping very well.

On The Hard(Case): He was down in supply the other night asking for a bunch of new blankets and pillows for his quarters.

The Padacommander: What is he doing, building a fort?

Hood & Jesses: Maybe he’s just cold? Envirocontrol is always fiddling with the thermo…

Co(le)ric: DID NONE OF YOU IDIOTS THINK TO MENTION SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN ROUTINE AND EATING HABITS OF A VOD TO THE MEDICS???

For Kix And Giggles: YOU KNOW, LIKE THAT MIGHT BE A SIGN OF REACTION TO SEVERE TRAUMA OR SOMETHING?

For Kix And Giggles: I’m going to his quarters!

Hood & Jesses: Wait! You can’t!

For Kix And Giggles: Why not???

Hood & Jesses: … uh… well

Appoachable: Now, Coric, Kix, calm down. Rishi was an osikstorm. The whole base was wiped out. Rex had to listen to a vod he knew take it out and die in the process to keep the Seppies from invading Kamino. That’s… a lot. Sometimes a vod just needs a little time to just sit with things and process. I was going to give him a week or two before I talk to him about how he’s locked the cleaning droids out of his quarters. He’s just… he’s just dealing with some things. He might need some space right now.

Hood & Jesses: Right! What he said!

The Padacommander: But he shouldn’t have to suffer all alone! You know the Order lined up a bunch of grief counsellors right, for the clones to use? I can contact them if you like!

For Kix And Giggles: We’ll put that on the options list, but we like to get first crack at assisting with this kind of thing, Commander.

For Kix And Giggles: It’s not that we don’t appreciate it…

Co(le)ric: We do! We really do!

For Kix And Giggles: It’s just that some things work better when they’re done in person, not over a subspace call. Besides, I’d prefer to train a few vod up in grief counselling, that seems like a more efficient and compassionate way to handle our mental health issues.

Co(le)ric: Yeah. We won’t always have an open channel to the Temple available and it’s not like the war is suddenly going to get any less violent any time soon. We need to know this stuff.

The Padacommander: I guess…

The Padacommander: But you’re right, Rex has been acting weird.

For Kix And Giggles: @Hood & Jesses did you notice anything about Rex when you went down in the dropship to pick him up from the surface after the Rishi mission?

Hood & Jesses: There was absolutely, one hundred percent, nothing unusual about Rex when I went to pick him up on Rishi.

Hood & Jesses: Rex is fine.

On The (Hard)Case: But he’s hiding something! I know he’s hiding something! It’s in the vents! Or under the blankets!

The Padacommander: And the training rooms.

Denial: And the metric tonne of food that I can only assume he is hoarding, because if he was eating that much he wouldn’t fit into his armour.

Hood & Jesses: You guys are all crazy.

Hood & Jesses: Rex is FINE.

Hood & Jesses: So he’s eating a little more and training a little harder, so what?

Hood & Jesses: That doesn’t sound very suspicious to me! Maybe he just wants to get stronger. That sounds pretty normal for Rex.

Hood & Jesses: I mean, what else exactly do you think he’s doing? Hiding a bunch of secret stowaways??

For Kix And Giggles:

Mixed Emotions: That’s a weirdly specific example, Jesse.

Hood & Jesses: I’M JUST SAYING… you know, it’s crazy right? Acting like he’s got some big secret. This is Rex! I’m sure he knows his business, and I’m equally sure he doesn’t want anyone poking their noses into it either.

Hood & Jesses: Just leave it alone. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.

[Commline O’Niner’s Rookies is Active]

[5 Members are Online]

Fives: Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum. Nub. 327. O’Niner.

Fives: Someone has to say it.

Fives: We should say it.

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_234BRT6.77_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

Hevy: Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum. O’Niner. 327. Nub.

Droidbait: Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum. Nub and TwoSev and O’Niner.

Cutup: Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum. TwoSev, O’Niner and Nub.

Cutup: Should we say the names of O’Niner’s squadmates too? Should we remember them too?

Cutup: I mean. There’s no one left now. I think O’Niner… O’Niner was the last one to do it.

Droidbait: Does anyone remember their names?

Hevy: Echo would probably remember, he’d got that freaky memory of his.

Hevy: Where is he? He made the chat then dipped.

Cutup: It says he’s online.

Hevy: @Echo ?

Fives: Leave him. He’s… inside his head right now.

Fives: He thinks this is his fault.

Fives: He was the one who uploaded Widge into the system.

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_227E54.99848_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

Hevy: That’s stupid. I’m the one who made the explosive.

Droidbait: I’m the one who made it deadlier.

Cutup: I’m the one who didn’t insist he leave when he should have.

Fives: And I’m the one who left the stupid sniper rifle behind. Doesn’t matter. Echo blames himself.

Fives: I’ve tried talking to him about it.

Hevy: Maybe I can try. Where is he? I haven’t seen him… for a while, now that I think about it.

Fives: He locked himself into one of the aux server closets. Days ago.

Fives: I’m trying to get him out before the Captain notices.

Hevy: Kark.

Fives: Yeah.

[DM Channel Now Open]

add_#CT-6116,CT-5597

[6116 has Changed Username To Kixing You Softly]

[6116 has Changed 5597’s Username to Start Talking]

Kixing You Softly: Well?

Start Talking: I have no idea what you’re asking???

Kixing You Softly: You are a karking terrible liar.

Kixing You Softly: You have exactly five seconds to tell me everything you know about these ‘stowaways’ Rex has aboard.

Start Talking: What stowaways? Everyone on board is manifested. Have you gotten enough sleep? I’m worried about you.

Start Talking: I have no idea about Rex and any supposed stowaways he might have on board.

Start Talking: hahahaha, I mean, that’s ridiculous right? Why the sith hells would Rex hide a bunch of stowaways on board his own ship? That would be against regulations.

Start Talking: If that’s all, I’ve got to get on duty and

Kixing You Softly: Jesse.

Kixing You Softly: I am a medic.

Kixing You Softly: I have access to just about every instrument of creative torture and death on this vessel.

Kixing You Softly: I know how to use them.

Kixing You Softly: I have the authority to use them.

Kixing You Softly: I know when your duty shift is.

Kixing You Softly: I know where you eat.

Kixing You Softly: I know where you sleep.

Kixing You Softly: Five.

Kixing You Softly: Four.

Kixing You Softly: Three.

Start Talking: osik

[Commline O’Niners Rookies Is Active]

[4 Members Are Online]

Droidbait: Still nothing from Echo?

Cutup: Is he still locked in there? It’s been days! He hasn’t eaten or slept or anything?

Fives: I know, I know. He won’t come out. I’m trying to get in through the vents but he’s not letting me.

Hevy: He can’t stay in there! What the sith hells are we supposed to tell Rex?

Cutup: What have you been telling him? He keeps checking in on us, he must have noticed something!

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_2345/eg745678_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

Fives: He’s in and out so much at different times and he’s really busy even when he’s here. I told him Echo’s in the fresher when he asks.

Droidbait: For days?? That’s never going to fly!

Fives: I know! You think I don’t know? What am I supposed to do? If Rex thinks Echo’s gone off the hyperlane, he’ll send him back to Kamino!

Cutup: He wouldn’t do that!

Cutup: Would he?

Droidbait: Are we sure?

[DM Channel Now Open]

add_#CT-6116,CT-7567

[6116 Has Changed Username to Kix Your Shebs]

Kix Your Shebs: Captain

Kix Your Shebs: And I say this with all due respect.

Kix Your Shebs: START KARKING RUNNING!

Kix Your Shebs: YOU BOUGHT FIVE CADETS ABOARD THE SHIP AFTER THEY SUFFERED HORRIFIC TRAUMA AND YOU DIDN’T IMMEDIATELY BRING THEM TO THE MEDBAY????!!!!!

Kix Your Shebs: IT’S YOU, ME AND THE NEAREST AIRLOCK!!!!

Kix Your Shebs: I AM GOING TO STRAIGHT UP KARKING MURDER YOU!!!

Kix Your Shebs: A SURPRISE ADOLESCENT TOGRUTA WAS BAD ENOUGH! WHAT THE SITH HELLS ARE YOU DOING TO ME? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME THROUGH SHEER STRESS????

Kix You Shebs: AAAAAAARRRRRRRHHHAAAARRRRRGHHHAAAAARRRRGHH!!!!!!

7567:

[7567 Has Changed Username to Strexed And Betrayed]

Strexed And Betrayed: Force above, below and side to side, Jesse. You have the mental fortitude of wet flimsi.

[Commline The Shebs Collective Is Active]

[2 Members Are Online]

Codobisexual: @Rexing It

Codobisexual: Wait a karking minute.

Codobisexual: Whomst the kark changed my user name?

Codobisexual: Rex, you little brat, really??

Codobisexual: I regret letting you and Fox ever meet.

[Codobisexual Has Changed Username To Codified]

[Codified Has Changed Rexing It’s Username To Rexing Balls]

Codified: @Rexing Balls @Rexing Balls @Rexing Balls

Rexing Balls: Can this wait?

Rexing Balls: I’ve got an extremely pissed off medic on my tail.

Codified: Rex.

Codified: I’ve seen the ‘paperwork’ you filed to the assignments department.

Codified: The answer is no.

Rexing Balls: The paperwork was all in order and I was given free rein to handpick whatever soldiers I wanted for Torrent from any squad listed as deployed.

Rexing Balls: And you don’t sign off on it anyway, Skywalker does.

Rexing Balls: Permission to ‘no’ is denied.

Codified: deep inhale

Codified: Rex.

Codified: They are, and I cannot stress this enough, physically and mentally twelve in natborn years.

Codified: You cannot add them to a special combat operations unit.

Codified: Special combat operations units GO INTO ACTUAL COMBAT.

Rexing Balls: What do you think I’m gonna do, Codes, ugh, shove them into blackout infils with no training? Arg.

Rexing Balls: Give me some credit. Ow, damn it!

Rexing Balls: We need to, oof, keep them hidden, remember? Ew, ew. We can’t let them be sent back to Kamino. Oh, that’s disgusting. Ew. Folding them into Torrent is genius. No one gives a single kark who’s on a spec ops team. Damn, arg. No one even looks at them. The brass only care about the results they get. Ow. Ow!

Codified: Rex. What are you doing right now?

Rexing Balls: Crawling through the vents.

Codified: What? Why??

Rexing Balls: Did I or did I not mention that I have a pissed off medic after me?

Codified: … really? Seriously? You’re an officer, man.

Rexing Balls: Oh, don’t you dare judge me, you once threw your General at Helix to keep him from nabbing you.

Rexing Balls: You literally THREW him at Helix, vod. You are kriffing lucky Kenobi has a sense of humour.

Codified: I know.

Rexing Balls: You’re also lucky we’re all very patient with your infatuated smugness.

Codified: Moving on. Rex, you can’t list them on a spec ops team. What if someone requests them personally?

Rexing Balls: They won’t. They’ll only be able to request Torrent, I get to pick who goes, that was how it was set up. Skywalker never checks his paperwork, he won’t even notice some of them aren’t being deployed.

Rexing Balls: And before you start, we can’t stick them in the 212th. Kenobi would notice. He notices stuff. He notices everything. And he would definitely pay attention to rumours of troopers running around who are quite a bit shorter than normal.

Rexing Balls: Which is why we can’t attach them to a battalion in his close orbit, and you are undeniably in his close orbit. You can’t take them. And also, what would you have done with them? You hate cadets.

Codified: Tied up their paperwork and shoved them down with the greasers in maintenance. No one would have found them down there and the greasers barely talk to anyone else on the ship.

Codified: And you’re right, Kenobi would notice. He’s probably already noticed. It doesn’t matter. He and I have an agreement. He notices, but he doesn’t ask. He lets us organise ourselves to our own authority wherever he can get away with it and runs interference with the natborns. It’s the only way we get anything done around here.

Codified: They’d have been fine. No one would have ever known.

Rexing Balls: If I weren’t in stealth mode I would be laughing my skid plate right off at you right now.

Rexing Balls: That was your grand plan, really?

Rexing Balls: And they call you a master strategist.

Codified: What’s wrong with it? That would have been perfectly workable.

Codified: And a lot less risk than your frankly lunatic plan.

Rexing Balls: Cody. Your plan hinges on one very important central premise that I don’t think you've even thought through.

Rexing Balls: It presumes the shinies will want to STAY down there.

Rexing Balls: The fact that you actually think they will might be just about the most pathetic excuse for common sense I have ever heard in my decade plus of life.

Rexing Balls: That is just sad, vod.

Codified: They’re troopers, no matter their size. They’ll go where they’re told.

Rexing Balls: Oh boy. Your rank has gone to your head.

Rexing Balls: Let me put it this way.

Rexing Balls: What do you think would have happened if I had shrunk and then you tried to pull that osik on me?

Rexing Balls: How long do you think I would have stood for it?

Codified:

Codified: Not long, I admit.

Rexing Balls: About FIVE KRIFFING SECONDS, and four of ‘em would have be - ow! - four of ‘em would have been shock at the sheer nerve you had, thinking I’d stay put.

Rexing Balls: These boys? These cadets?

Rexing Balls: They’re all ME.

Rexing Balls: All of ‘em.

Rexing Balls: They’re dumbass and reckless, and itching for a fight. Piss and blaster oil, every one. They’re burning inside to get in on the war.

Rexing Balls: They’re also way too smart for their own good. O’Niner was wasted on Rishi. He’d have made one of the best training officers on Kamino if the reassignments committee had the sense the force gave a dead mynock.

Rexing Balls: I’ve got fully trained troopers, veterans even, who wouldn’t have adapted to a situation like Rishi even a tenth as fast as those kids did.

Rexing Balls: That was all O’Niner. For all that he pretended to have no imagination, that vod knew what made a good soldier. He had a gift. He knew how to bring out that spark shinies have. The fire inside them.

Rexing Balls: He took that fire and he honed it. He controlled it.

Rexing Balls: And then he pointed it at the enemy.

Rexing Balls: It’s too late to put the sith back in the holocron, Cody. Those boys want to fight. You try to cage them up, they’ll cut and run.

Rexing Balls: I don’t know about you, but I’d feel a lot better if they’re where I can see ‘em then off getting into who knows what trouble in the big bad galaxy.

Rexing Balls: Just because they’re smart, doesn’t mean they’ve got guile.

Rexing Balls: Or common sense.

Rexing Balls: Someone’s got to take care of them. They’ve got no one.

Rexing Balls: And that’s on me, isn’t it?

Codified: Rex. Vod’ika.

Codified: What happened wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known about the bot incursion. There was no way you could have stopped what happened.

Codified: O’Niner made an osik choice. But it was the right one for the situation. It couldn’t have been either of us and it sure as kark wasn’t going to be the shinies.

Rexing Balls: I knew him. I knew the sort of man he was.

Rexing Balls: If I’d stopped and actually thought it through…

Codified: Then you would have come to the same conclusion that he did. I was mission critical. The kids were kids. It was going to be either you or him.

Codified: In brutal terms of value to the war, it had to be him, and he knew it.

Rexing Balls: You’re biased.

Codified: You’re damn right I am.

Codified: But just because I benefit personally doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right choice. He was injured. He may not have been able to outrun the fuse even if you’d found a way to light it. You were in fighting fit condition, and the head of an entire spec ops department. We need you here.

Codified: I need you here.

Codified: I respect his choice, vod’ika. I have to.

Rexing Balls: Yeah, well, maybe respect mine, then.

Rexing Balls: I promised O’Niner I’d take care of them. So let me take care of them.

Codified: Rex, you’re already our liaison to General Skywalker and you’re both training and heading up Torrent, which might be our biggest and busiest covert ops team to date. How are you going to care for them? What are you going to do? How the kark are you proposing to keep them a secret? Are you going to live with them crammed into your quarters for the rest of the war?

Rexing Balls: I’m working on it. I’ll find a way. I always do.

Rexing Balls: It’s not like they’re in there the whole time! I take them out for training!

Rexing Balls: And if they go tooka while they sleep, they honestly don’t take up a lot of space.

Codified: You can’t hear it, but I’m actually beating my helmet against my desk. What the kriff are we supposed to do about THAT??

Rexing Balls: Don’t you worry your pretty little scarred head about THAT. I’ve got plans for that.

Codified: My concerns are intensifying. R A P I D L Y.

Rexing Balls: blows kisses love you too, ori’vod.

Codified: Seriously though. You won’t be able to keep them hidden forever.

Rexing Balls: Oh, I know. Why do you think I’m running from my medic?

Codified: Prime’s balls, Rex. Someone spilled the grains already? It’s only been a week.

Rexing Balls: It’s not my fault Jesse has all the backbone of a Mon Calimarian jellyfish in the face of Kix.

Rexing Balls: I thought he’d hold out longer. Can’t imagine why. I must have post concussion syndrome or something. Ow! Damn it! Kark! He’s right below me!

Codified: How long exactly are you planning to try to hide from him in the vents?

Codified: You’re going to have to show him the five shiny new acquisitions living in your quarters eventually.

Rexing Balls: Four.

Codified: What?

Rexing Balls: Four. I currently have four shiny new acquisitions in my quarters.

Codified: What?? Where’s the fifth one?

Rexing Balls: Status is being ascertained as we speak, Commander.

Codified: You karking LOST ONE? ALREADY?

Rexing Balls: Oh, no. I know where he is.

Rexing Balls: I’ve just gotta get a little slicing done before I can wrangle him.

Codified: What the kark are you

Rexing Balls: shdethgdbfdjcfmkhcgaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggg!

Rexing Balls: oooofffff

Rexing Balls: Oh, uh. Hi there, Kix.

Rexing Balls: Sorry to dash but I’ve got a meeting with the Marshal Commander and-

Codified: You just fell out of the vents, didn’t you?

Codified: You know what? I wash my hands of this entire kark up.

Codified: Good luck, Rex’ika. I’ll say your remembrances with pride.

Rexing Balls: Cody, don’t you dare log

[Codified Is Offline]

Rexing Balls: off

Rexing Balls: Kark you too, ori’vod.

[Commline O’Niners Rookies Is Active]

[4 Members Are Online]

Hevy: Still nothing on Echo?

Fives: Yes, Hevy, as evidenced by the fact that HE’S NOT HERE!

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_22345/660657.898_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

Fives: Sorry. I’m just a little stressed.

Cutup: We’ve got to do something! He’s been locked in there for three straight days. The Captain’s busy, he’s not an idiot! He knows something’s up!

Cutup: And I can’t keep pretending to be Echo! I’m the wrong size! I don’t talk like him either!

Fives: Droidbait, did you…

Droidbait: Yeah, I got it.

Hevy: Got what?

Droidbait: I might have sort have stolen the Captain’s master access card. I rigged his security cage to pop open at midnight last night and nabbed it.

Cutup: Seriously? He didn’t notice that?

Fives: He doesn’t take it with him every day. I figured we could flip a credit that he wouldn’t take it today.

Hevy: Fives! You cannot steal an officer’s access card! That’s the kind of thing that would have a trooper sent back for reconditioning!

Fives: I know, I know! I couldn’t think of anything else! I tried to get in there through the vents but the server rooms have their own vents system and the pipes are tiny.

Cutup: Yeah, not even I can get through.

Droidbait: We have to do something, Hevy. It’s been three days. Echo’s never been inside his head that long before.

Hevy: Alright, alright, I take your point. When’s the Captain due back?

Cutup: Not for a couple of hours, I think? He’s on shift, right?

Fives: We’ve got to get Echo back here before he gets back. You’re right, it’s been three days and Rex is noticing. He will ask.

Fives: Echo can’t go back to Kamino

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_223534565.999.9_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

Hevy: Alright, fine! But have you realised we’re going to have to get from here to the aft section without being seen?

Cutup: But we can do that, right? No problem.

Fives: Right. Let’s put O’Niner’s and Two-Sev’s training to work.

Commline 501st Is the GREATEST (Opinions of the 212th not permitted) is Active

[86 Members are Online]

Denial: Did anyone else just see Kix chasing Rex down the starboard main passageway?

Mixed Emotions: Can confirm. Kix’s face was roughly the company blue, and he was screeching like a nexu. Rex was tapping on a datapad, I think?

Denial: Yeah, he was doing it while running and dodging scalpels and needles.

Denial: It was pretty impressive, I have to say.

The Padacommander: ?????!!!!

Mixed Emotions: Oh, for sure, for sure. But… what the kark is happening?

Denial: Kriffed if I know. @Co(le)ric @Appoachable Any intel you might want to share???

Co(le)ric: Don’t look at me, vod, I’m on shift and am currently dealing with extractions of the dumbass variety, in every sense of the word.

The Padacommander:

Co(le)ric: Don’t even think about it @The Padacommander even if I was in the habit of releasing medical details I sure as sithspit am not releasing anything of this type to you.

The Padacommander: Awww, you guys are no fun.

Co(le)ric: No, no we are not. In any case, no @Denial I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.

Co(le)ric: But whatever it is, I’m sure Rex deserved it.

Denial: @Appoachable ?

Appoachable: Nope.

Appoachable: For the sake of my sanity, I don’t know and I’m not finding out either.

The Padacommander: Well, something must be happening! That doesn’t sound like…

The Padacommander: Well, okay, that does sound pretty normal for Kix but he usually has a good reason!

The Padacommander: @Hood & Jesses do you know why Kix is so mad at Rex?

Hood & Jesses: Don’t ask. Trust me, you don’t want to know.

[On The (Hard)Case is Online]

On The Hard(case): GUYS! I THINK THERE MIGHT BE A NYCLOX GAS LEAK!

Denial: What??

Co(le)ric: I’m breaking out respiratory kits!

Approachable: What? Where? Hit the environment alarms, man, what are you doing in the chat??

The Padacommander: !!!!!!! I’ll tell Skyguy!

Hood & Jesses: I’m going to try to raise Rex, hang on.

On The Hard(Case): I came here because I checked the air quality over the whole section and the readouts all say it’s fine.

Co(le)ric: What??

Denial: For kark’s sake @On The Hard(Case) I just about had a heart attack!

The Padacommander: Wait, hang on. That means there’s no gas leak. Why would you think there’s a gas leak if there’s no actual gas, you know, leaking anywhere?

On The Hard(Case): Well, there must be something! I think I’m hallucinating!

The Padacommander: blink blink

Appoachable:

Appoachable: @Co(le)ric he’s all yours

Co(le)ric: Joy.

Co(le)ric: @On The Hard(Case) I wouldn’t normally do this in a public chat, but you started it.

Co(le)ric: Headache, dizziness, nausea? Shortness of breath, chest pains? Come on, give me something to work with here.

On The Hard(Case): No, nothing. I feel fine!

Appoachable: Have you been visiting the ‘special’ section of engineering?

On The Hard(Case): Uh…

Denial: This is fun, I’m getting bang grains.

On The Hard(Case): No! I’m mean, I might have hypothetically been on my way there but I hadn’t actually had any, uh special water yet.

The Padacommander: Guys, I know it’s a still. Like, I know what a still does. The Temple has it’s own brewery. I used to work in there for my volunteer hours. It’s so very important to me that you understand that I know what a still is.

Appoachable: @The Padacommander please, I’m begging you, just give me a little, tiny sliver of plausible deniability on this one. I do not wish to be a) impaled by a lightsaber or b) shot out of a plasma cannon into the deep dark bowels of space. Please. PLEASE.

The Padacommander: Fiiiiiiine. I have no idea of any hypothetical alcohol production line on board this ship. I know nothing.

Appoachable: Acceptable.

Co(le)ric: If no one minds, I’m trying to do a piecemeal diagnosis with no bioscan data on a public forum, because why not.

Co(le)ric): @On The (Hard)Case why, exactly, do you think you’re hallucinating?

Mixed Emotions: Oh, this ought to be good.

Hood & Jesses: I’m vibrating with anticipation.

On The (Hard)Case: Because… because I could have sworn I saw a squad of troopers sneaking down towards the aft.

Co(le)ric: What? That’s not a hallucination. You couldn’t swing a tooka on this ship without hitting a trooper!

On The (Hard)Case: But they didn’t look like normal troopers!

On The (Hard)Case: They were really short!

Hood & Jesses: … what?

The Padacommander: Huh?

Co(le)ric: What do you mean, short?

On The (Hard)Case: I mean short! As in, not tall! They were wearing blacks and helmets like troopers but they looked like cadets. Like, little cadets.

On The (Hard)Case: I mean, it’s gotta be a hallucination, right? One of them even said they were just a dream.

The Padacommander: One of them said what now?

On The Hard(Case): Like, I asked them. One of them. And he just said it was just a dream.

On The Hard(Case): And then they ran off.

Denial: What, I say this in affection, the actual kark?

Mixed Emotions: Welp, it’s official, you’ve cracked. I’m surprised, I always thought Kix would be the first to go.

Hood & Jesses: … uh

Appoachable: Uh… @Co(le)ric I hate to say it but this does seem to be in your area.

Co(le)ric: Yeah, okay. This might as well happen. @On The (Hard)Case you have two options. Either you can come to me or I can come to you. Which is it going to be?

The Padacommander: This is wild! Does this kind of thing happen a lot on this ship?

Denial: Not a lot.

Mixed Emotions: All the time.

Appoachable: @Mixed Emotions what the KARK, why did you go and say that??

Mixed Emotion: I’m just saying, remember that time after Muunilinst where those spore moulds grew in the vents? Half the engineering crew started seeing bugs on their skin.

Denial: You know, actually, this could be that. He might be onto something.

Appoachable: Oh, lovely. Yet another ream of paperwork to fill out for a shipwide evac and internal sterilisation.

Hood & Jesses: hahahaha yeah its probably definitely that @On The (Hard)Case you should definitely report to the medbay just out of curiosity where did you see these… hallucinations again??

Hood & Jesses: youknowsoweknowwherethe… uh, MOULD is growing… contaminating… the vents?

The Padacommander: Jesse, are you okay?

Hood & Jesses: Fine, fine, fine, everything’s cool, cool, cool, a-okay, ship shape, Commander.

Hood & Jesses: @On The Hard(Case) seriously, where did you say you saw them again?? I forgot.

[Commline O’Niners Rookies Is Active]

[5 Members Are Online]

Hevy: Why the ACTUAL KARK did you say THAT????!!

Fives: I don’t know! I panicked!

Fives: What the hell was I supposed to say when we nearly ran into him. And ALSO @Droidbait you were supposed to be scouting ahead!

Droidbait: Hey, I am trying to crack the protection of this master key with my datapad. I can do that OR scout, not both.

Cutup: Remind me again why we couldn’t do this as tookas? Just explain that to me.

Cutup: I mean, we could have gone through the vents.

Fives: Echo rigged the sensors to close off the vents around where he is if anything tooka shaped hits them, don’t ask me how.

Fives: Besides, Rex said no more running around in the vents anyway, otherwise the maintenance crew might fumigate and that stuff will kill us deader than dead.

Cutup: Ugh. We’re going to get into so much trouble.

Fives: It’s fine, it’s fine, we’re almost there.

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_222/99/468416874_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

Hevy: What is that? It keeps repeating in the chat? Why?

Droidbait: Some system glitch. It keeps popping up. I think it’s trying to connect to old profiles that aren’t, you know, there anymore. I haven’t gone through all the coding for this chat yet. Echo was supposed to help me, but, you know…

Fives: There! There it is!

Hevy: How do you know it’s this one?

Fives: Echo and I have beacons in each other’s helmets. So we can keep track of each other.

Fives: We put them in just in case the longnecks ever tried to take him away for being… Echo. That way I could at least track him.

[DM Channel Now Open]

add_#CT-5597,CT-6567

[5597 has Changed Username To Jessticulating Wildly]

[5597 has Changed 6567’s Username to Oh Captain]

Jessticulating Wildly: CAPTAIN WE HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE!

Oh Captain: Can it wait?

Oh Captain: I’m trying to explain the logistics of why keelhauling will not work on a spacefaring vessel.

Oh Captain: I’m not being entirely successful, if I’m honest.

Jessticulating Wildly: NOT REALLY, SIR.

Jessticulating Wildly: THE BANTHAS HAVE FLOWN THE COOP!

Jessticulating Wildly: THE DROIDS ARE RAIDING THE STILL!

Jessticulating Wildly: THE BIRDS ARE DOING THE MIRALIAN FIRE DANCE IN THE STREET!

Jessticulating Wildly: WE HAVE CONFIRMED EYES, ALL HANDS ON DECK, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, SIR!

Oh Captain:

Oh Captain: Hold on a second.

[Oh Captain Has Added CT-6116]

[Oh Captain Has Changed CT-6116’s Username To Kix Your Shebs]

Kix Your Shebs: AND ANOTHER THING… what?

Kix Your Shebs: Did you just add me to an entirely different chat??

Kix Your Shebs: Do you think that’s going to save you?

Oh Captain: We can return to your long murder plot later.

Oh Captain: Right now I need you to talk Jesse down from a panic attack. Check the scroll.

Kix Your Shebs: …oh.

Kix Your Shebs: @Jessticulating Wildly where are you right now?

Kix Your Shebs: What do you see?

Jessticulating Wildly: I’M IN THE LOCKER ROOM! I WAS TAKING A NICE RELAXING SONIC! NOW MY BLACKS ARE ON BACKWARDS, WHY ARE THEY ON BACKWARDS?

Kix Your Shebs: Five things you see, Jesse.

Jessticulating Wildly: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I DON’T HAVE TIME!

Jessticulating Wildly: WE’VE GOT TO GO FIND THE…. uh, well, you know. Them.

Jessticulating Wildly: THEY’RE MISSING! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WAYS THERE ARE TO DIE ON BOARD THIS SHIP WHEN YOU'RE FIVE FEET AND UNDER?

Jessticulating Wildly: THERE’S A LOT!

Kix Your Shebs: Jesse. Breathe.

Kix Your Shebs: Five things you see.

Kix Your Shebs: Captain could you…?

Oh Captain: Sergeant CT-5597, ATTEN-HUT!

Jessticulating Wildly: Sir, yes, sir!

Oh Captain: Name five things you see. That’s an order.

Jessticulating Wildly: Sir, I see my sonic kit, sir! Sir, I see the red indicator light on the door, sir! Sir, I see the spare training shoes Mixer keeps leaving in the stall, sir! Sir, I see the sonic List Of Rules over the door, sir! Sir, I see the towel rack at the end of the row, sir!

Jessticulating Wildly: I’m good, I’m good, I can breathe, it’s good.

Kix Your Shebs: That’s fine, you keep your head between your knees and count your breaths. Inhale, hold for four, exhale, hold for four.

Kix Your Shebs: I don’t want to hear from you for at least two minutes, okay?

Kix Your Shebs: Rex and I will go and find the cadets.

Kix Your Shebs: WON’T WE REX????

Oh Captain: Yes, yes, yes, we’re going. Just give me a minute.

Kix Your Shebs: I can’t believe you not only smuggled cadets aboard, you actually managed to lose them! What the kark?

Kix Your Shebs: Jesse’s right, you know, this place isn’t exactly youngling-friendly, or haven’t your adventures with Commander Tano and her curious streak taught you anything?

Kix Your Shebs: We should probably start with a shipwide alert. Have search parties formed.

Oh Captain: Calm down, we’re not doing that.

Kix Your Shebs: Oh really? You want the two of us to scour, what, fifty odd clicks of corridor and three thousands separate rooms? All by ourselves? I need to sleep today at some point.

Oh Captain: No need.

Oh Captain: Seriously, Kix, give me a little credit.

Oh Captain: Do you think I’d leave them in a room without a locked door if I didn’t have a way to find them?

Oh Captain: Please. I know exactly where they are. And where they’re going.

Oh Captain: I wanted to see how long it took them to crack and try.

Kix Your Shebs: Rex. This is not Kamino. We don’t train shinies that way.

Oh Captain: What? Oh, no, it wasn’t a mindkriff test. They’re testing ME. They need to know that they can trust me. They need to start trusting me.

Oh Captain: At least one of them has an interesting mind. Some of the trainers would have called him crooked. And you know what happens to crooked on Kamino.

Oh Captain: I need them to push the boundaries so they find out what happens when you push boundaries.

Oh Captain: And that it’s actually nothing like what they fear the most. They’ll never believe it until it happens.

Oh Captain: Now both of you be quiet. I’m almost through.

Jessticulating Wildly: I’m dressed and heading your way.

Kix Your Shebs: Almost through what?

Oh Captain: The most diabolical chat security firewall I have ever encountered in my life.

Oh Captain: Whoever coded it, I either want to shake them by the hand, or punch them in the mouth.

Oh Captain: @Jessticulating Wildly head aft. We’ll meet you at the server farm on the port side.

Kix Your Shebs: Why there?

Oh Captain: Because that’s where our wayward cadets are.

[Commline O’Niners Rookies Is Active]

[5 Members Are Online]

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_367/234536FYUD880_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

Droidbait: There it is again. It’s getting worse! What the hell is causing it?

Cutup: Okay, so, here we are. Can we get the door open? We need to get Echo and get back fast.

Hevy: What if he doesn’t want to come?

Fives: I’ll carry him if I have to. Bait, you ready?

Droidbait: Two seconds…

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_123/DXFH6349O22_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

Droidbait: Arg, that’s getting annoying.

Cutup: Maybe we should try talking through the intercom.

Cutup: I mean, this would be a lot easier if he just came out on his own, right?

Fives: I’ve tried messaging him, like a hundred times. I pinged him at least five hundred. I’ve been doing that this whole time.

Cutup: Maybe he’s not wearing his helmet.

Fives:

Cutup: Seriously? You never thought of that? All this time it never occurred to you that he just wasn’t wearing it?

Fives: He usually likes wearing his helmet when he gets like this! That’s what he did before!

Hevy: Don’t get defensive, it’s fine. This is an unusual situation. It’s probably quiet enough in there that he doesn’t need to block anything out, right?

Hevy: Cutup’s right, let’s try talking to him first. He might not even realise how long he’s been in there.

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_980/AS58300221.99_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

[Link Pending]

Droidbait: Link to what, you piece of junk code?

Fives: Echo? Echo, can you hear me?

Fives: Echo, if you can hear me, put your helmet on, okay?

Fives: I know you feel really bad about what happened.

Fives: So do I.

Fives: But O’Niner wouldn’t have wanted you to lock yourself away like this! It’s not healthy!

Fives: Echo, please come out. Please?

Hevy: Listen to him, Echo. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, okay? No one blames you.

Hevy: We don’t blame you. We promise.

[REL_TRACE_PING_acc_980/AS58300221.99_query]

[comm_xxxxxx//////////]

[Linkline Established]

/est_lup_prot_run.exe

[run_or_master_23434645.99464.DYFMS7THSYS_INTEG_SYS_RBT]

/acc:_GAR_CT_databank-14094/encrptpc46AA0p4HR6671NK_commreg_autolink

Droidbait: Hold on, hold on, what??

Droidbait: What the kark?

Cutup: Echo, it’s Cutup. Listen, vod, you’ve been in there for, like, three days now. You need to eat! And sleep! And drink fluids and things!

Cutup: Come on, you need to come out before you make yourself sick!

Fives: Echo, please! Please come out? For me? Please?

/asn#CT-XXXX_user

/asn#CT-XXXX_admin

Droidbait: Uh, guys? We have a little problem here!

CT-XXXX: Little Force Gods, I finally made it through.

CT-XXXX: I haven’t been challenged like that since the last slice-a-thon on Kamino.

Hevy: Who the kark are you?

Hevy: What are you doing in our chat??

CT-XXXX: Oh boys

[CT-XXXX Has Changed Username To The Captain]

The Captain: You have a lot to learn about opsec.

Fives: Captain Rex?

Cutup: oh kark

Droidbait: double kark

Hevy: Uh, sir? Why are you slicing into our chat?

Fives: Yeah, why? I mean, we’re fine, right? In your quarters?

The Captain: Uh huh.

The Captain: So if I were to go to my quarters you’d all be right there, huh?

Fives: Um… yes?

The Captain: Is that so? You’re sure about that?

The Captain: Ahem.

Cutup: AHHHHH!

Droidbait: AHHHH!

Hevy: Prime’s balls, were you there the whole time?!

The Captain: Most of it.

The Captain: Now then, do you want to revise your answer, Fives?

Cutup: Well, sir, we were

Fives: exploring.

Fives: We were just exploring, sir.

Droidbait: … Fives…

Fives: We were EXPLORING, that’s all.

The Captain: Uh huh.

Fives: Who are they?

The Captain: Who are they SIR, cadet.

[Oh Captain Has Added CT-6116]

[Oh Captain Has Added CT-5597]

The Captain: You already know Sergeant Jesse. He was the pilot of the dropship that took you off Rishi.

[CT-5597 Has Changed Username To Jesster]

Jesster: Hiiiiii! 👋👋👋👋

CT-6116: Oh my force they are so tiny.

The Captain: The other one is our head medic, Lieutenant Kix.

The Captain: Don’t let that soft voice fool you. He’s a mean nerfherder.

[CT-6116 Has Changed Username To Hugs And Kixxers]

Hugs And Kixxers: Captain, I have two words for you.

Hugs And Kixxers: Cold. Probes.

Hugs And Kixxers: Nice to meet you cadets, however late.

Hugs And Kixxers: I’ll be your main medic while you’re on board. I’m going to start with taking you back to the medbay and making sure that you’re in good shape, okay?

Hugs And Kixxers: Wait, you said there were five. Where’s the fifth one?

The Captain: Good question.

The Captain: Well boys, how about it?

The Captain: Anything you want to say?

Hevy: Well, uh… it’s kind of hard to explain…

Fives: It’s nothing. He’s not here. That’s all we know.

The Captain: Really?

Cutup: Come on Fives, the jig is up.

Fives: Shut UP.

Fives: He’s not our commanding officer! He isn’t O’Niner! It’s none of his business!

Jesster: Uh, kid? I hate to be the one to tell you this, but he’s A commanding officer. So it is his business if he wants it to be. That’s, like, kind of how armies work, you know?

Fives: Right, suddenly we’re soldiers again when it’s convenient for HIM.

Hevy: Fives, calm down, we’re already in enough trouble.

Droidbait: We’re… well, we’re kind of looking…

The Captain: No, not you. I need to hear this from you, Fives. Where is your brother?

Hugs And Kixxers: Holy Force balls am I reading this scroll right? Has he been missing for THREE DAYS?

Jesster: He WHAT NOW??

Hugs And Kixxers: Cadet, look, I know this is pretty new to you, but three days counts as a medical emergency. He could be dehydrated and passed out. We need to speak with him, ASAP.

The Captain: Fives. I need you to say it. You need to tell us where Echo is.

The Captain: You have to tell me, or there are going to be consequences, understand?

The Captain: What’s it going to be?

Fives:

Jesster: HEY! That’s mine! What are you-?!

Hevy: Fives!

Fives: Don’t you come near Echo!

Droidbait: Fives, what the actual kark?!

Hugs And Kixxers: Cadet, I’m going to need you to put that blaster down. Someone might get hurt. One of your brothers might get hurt.

Jesster: Come on kid, this is no way to fix your problems.

The Captain: It’s alright, both of you, calm down. Fives isn’t going to fire, are you Fives?

Fives: You think I won’t?!

Hevy: Fives!

Cutup: Fives seriously, this is not funny! Put it down, you’re only making it worse!

Fives: No! He treats us like cadets! He thinks of us that way! But we’re not! We were fully trained troopers before this happened…

Huds And Kixxers: You were what now.

Fives: And we damn well know how to shoot! Two taps, quick and clean.

Hevy: FIVES!

Fives: He’s not taking Echo away!

Jesster: What? Why would we take him away? For what?

Droidbait: WHOA!

Jesster: KARK!

Fives: ARG, LET ME GO! LET ME GOOO!

Hugs And Kixxers: GRAB THE BLASTER!

Cutup: I got it!

Hugs And Kixxers: I didn’t mean you, but fine. Here, give me that.

The Captain: Stop… fighting… me… you little… hellion!

Fives: NO! I WON’T LET YOU HURT ECHO!

Fives: I WON’T LET YOU TAKE HIM BACK TO KAMINO!!!

The Captain: NO ONE IS SENDING ANYONE ANYWHERE, UNDERSTAND?

The Captain: Right. Okay. Sorry I yelled.

The Captain: If I let you go, are you going to keep fighting me?

The Captain: Come on, kid. It’s okay. You got fire, I’ll give you that. You gotta learn to point it in smarter directions.

The Captain: You ready to answer me yet?

Heavy: Sir, Echo’s-

The Captain: No, Hevy, he needs to answer. A superior officer put a question to you, and you need to answer it, Fives.

The Captain: You can’t keep trying to go it alone. You need to start trusting me.

The Captain: Now, we’re both going to get up. And you’re going to answer the question. Understood, cadet?

The Captain: There we are.

The Captain: Now then.

The Captain: Where is Echo? Where is your brother? What happened? Report, cadet.

Fives:

Fives: Echo locked himself in the aft server closet, sir. He hasn’t come out in three days. I think, I’m not sure. He never came back to your quarters after he left.

The Captain: And why did he do that?

Fives: … I think he thinks he is responsible for what happened to O’Niner. Sir.

The Captain: There. Good job.

The Captain: That wasn’t so hard, was it?

Jesster: He’s been in there for THREE DAYS? Doing what?

Droidbait: We don’t know. Echo gets like this sometimes.

Fives: He’s still a good soldier!

Hevy: Right, he’s a great soldier. He just… gets a little deep inside his own head.

Cutup: But we can bring him out! We always have before.

Hugs And Kixxers: Is THAT why you think we’d send him back to Kamino??

Hugs And Kixxers: Because he’s a bit different?

Fives: Why wouldn’t we think that? Everyone knows about the decomms.

Fives: They decommed Echo’s entire line. As far as he knows, he’s the last.

Jesster: Karking sith hells!

Hugs And Kixxers:

Hugs And Kixxers: He was part of the 21-line, right? Intel and sysops?

Cutup: That’s what he said, yeah. Um, sir.

Hugs And Kixxers:

Hugs And Kixxers: Excuse me a minute

[Hugs And Kixxers Is Offline]

Droidbait: Uh. Is he alright?

Droidbait: He’s just kind of standing there?

Jesster: He’s fine. He just muted his comms.

Jesster: He doesn’t want you shinies to learn any new vocabulary.

Cutup: Wow. His visor is fogging up. Is that normal?

The Captain: Just let him get it out of his system.

Jesster: Seriously though, why the ka- uh, heck would you think we’d send anyone back to Kamino?

Jesster: The whole decomm thing was stopped. The Jedi stopped it. The longnecks aren’t allowed to do that anymore unless the Jedi sign off on it, and they never, ever do.

[Hugs And Kixxers Is Online]

Hevy: Wh… when did that happen?

Jesster: Like, months ago? What rock have you been living under?

Cutup: It was called Rishi.

Fives: But… O’Niner said…

The Captain: Rishi was kind of isolated. I don’t think O’Niner was up to date on a lot of the news. I can’t blame him for not knowing; the natborns wouldn’t let us do a full announcement because that would mean they’d have to publicly admit there were decommissions in the first place.

The Captain: We spread the news by word of mouth, battalion to battalion. There’s some little pockets that get missed, despite our best efforts.

Hugs And Kixxers: It wouldn’t even matter if decomms were still a thing. Not to me.

Fives: … why not?

Hugs And Kixxers: Because if any sleemo tried to pull something like that on any of my patients, no matter their rank, I’d dice them into little tiny cubes and then eject those cubes into the nearest coronasphere, that’s why.

Cutup: Whoa.

Droidbait: So… uh, does that mean we’re not in trouble?

The Captain: Oh, you’re in trouble.

The Captain: Just not that kind of trouble.

The Captain: Fives, do you understand why this all happened?

Fives: …I guess?

The Captain: Well, then you tell me, shiny. What should you have done differently? When you got worried about Echo, when you knew he was in a spiral, what SHOULD you have done?

Fives: I mean, I guess…

Fives: I guess I should have told you about it, sir.

The Captain: And?

Fives: And I should have trusted you, sir.

The Captain: That’s right. You’ve got to drop the loner attitude. We, all of us troopers, are there to help one another. Your problems are all of our problems.

The Captain: When you decided to go it alone, not only did you put Echo in danger, you also put your squadmates at risk. If this had been a different world, or you’d stumbled onto one of the natborn officers, this could have gotten very ugly for all of you.

The Captain: You’re a good leader, Fives. You’re charismatic. Your brothers follow you. They trust you.

The Captain: You have to be very aware, always, of just how big a responsibility that is. You have to make smarter choices; for their sake as well as yours. All of this could have been prevented if you had just come to me first. Do you understand, shiny?

Fives:

Fives: Yes, sir.

Fives:

Hevy: It’s alright, Fives.

Jesster: (sir! You made him cry!)

The Captain: He’s fine. You’re fine, aren’t you, kid? You probably haven’t been sleeping well these last few days, huh? You’re feeling a bit overwrought right now. It happens.

Hugs And Kixxers: (Oh great. Sleep deprivation on top of everything else.)

The Captain: Let’s just go get Echo and then you can all go back to my quarters and have a nap.

Hevy: We’re not tubies, we don’t need naps.

The Captain: Well I don’t know about you, cadet, but I need one, that’s for sure. Droidbait, give me that card.

Droidbait: Uh. Yes, sir.

The Captain: You will notice I’m not asking you how you got this.

Droidbait: Uh, honestly, that’s probably for the best, sir.

Fives: It was my idea, sir.

The Captain: What was? You bringing me the master key like I asked you to?

Fives?: Uh… yes, sir?

The Captain: You’re learning, shiny.

The Captain: Echo? It’s Rex. We’re coming in.

Echo: Oh. Are you finished now?

Fives: What?

Fives: Echo??

Cutup: Wait. Were you listening in this whole time??

Hevy: Why didn’t you say something????

Echo: Well, you know, I heard you all through the intercom, and I put my helmet on so I could answer you, right, but then it seemed like you were all in the middle of something and it’s rude to interrupt people when they’re in the middle of something.

Echo: Are you alright Fives?

Fives: I feel a lot better now that you’re talking.

Fives: I was really worried about you, you know!

Echo: I know. I’m sorry. But I had to get it done. It was important.

Hevy: Get what done?

The Captain: Okay. Door’s opening.

Fives: Echo!

Echo: Hi Fives!

Jesster: Awwwwwww. They’re hugging. They’re so cute. 😍😍😍

Droidbait: Echo, what the kark have you been doing in here?

Jesster: Language!

Cutup: Wait, wait, wait, wait. That’s a game controller!

Droidbait: That’s the game!

The Captain: The what?

Hevy: It’s our game. We made a whole hologame while we were on Rishi. It’s about strategy and problem solving and marksmanship. We used it like… like a training sim, you know? Because there wasn’t a lot of equipment we could use there.

Cutup: Or firing ranges.

Jesster: Whoa! Wizard!

Hugs And Kixxers: Huh.

Cutup: I thought we lost it though! When Rishi blew up.

Droidbait: Nub… he must have finished the upload right before the Seps attacked.

Echo: When I cut loose all the servers I could find from the systems, I kept all the holonet addresses. The game server was one of them.

Echo: I didn’t want the Seps to have it.

The Captain: That was probably wise.

Fives: Echo, have you been sitting in here playing the game this whole time??

Fives: I mean, fair enough, but why didn’t you invite us along?

Echo: I wasn’t playing it. I was fixing it.

Droidbait: Fixing it how?

Echo: I added some things.

Echo: Come and see. I’m done now.

Hugs And Kixxers: Alright, let’s see here. Blood sugar scanner, sphygmomanometer, starvation rations, IV hookups with saline, hydropaks, juice packs…

Cutup: You carry all that around with you? All the time?

Hug And Kixxers: In this battalion, kid, any medic who’s not prepared for total disaster any minute of any given day is an idiot.

Hug And Kixxers: Juice pack?

Cutup: Thanks!

Jesster: Whoa! This game looks cool!

Jesster: @Hugs And Kixxers check it out!

Jesster: It’s a game with us in it!

Captain Rex: Did you boys make this all by yourselves?

Hevy: Sort of. We came up with the idea and we made the um… alpha version, I think?

Droidbait: The prototype. It was a lot more basic than this.

Fives: Yeah, but then Nub - he worked on Rishi - he found out and then he helped us make this better version. Like, the graphics and things are a lot better. And Two Sev and O’Niner, they helped us come up with a bunch of new missions and puzzles and things we could use.

Cutup: I guess it was a group effort. Everyone on Rishi helped.

Fives: Echo still did a lot of the coding though, didn’t you Echo?

Echo: Huh? Oh, yeah, I did. Watch, watch, I want to see if the rendering worked.

Hevy: This is the Kamino level, right?

Droidbait: I don’t remember this intro!

Fives: Wait…

Fives: Wait a minute…

Fives: I know that voice! That’s O’Niner!

Hevy: … I don’t believe it, you’re right! That’s Sarge!

Droidbait: And look, look, look, look, that was Nub! The commspec giving mission data, that’s Nub! I’d know that laugh anywhere!

Cutup: And the quartermaster! That’s Two Sev!

Cutup: He’s using little pictures to talk in the transcript, just like Two Sev did!

Fives: Echo!

Fives: HOW?????

Echo: I saved voice prints from the DCV. After Rishi was gone.

Echo: I made characters for them in the game, see? They’re all the way through it. They’re like…advisors, and trainers, for the players in the game. Like they were for us.

Echo: They were gone. They died. And I was sad.

Echo: And I thought… I thought that this way…

Echo: They can march on through the game.

Echo: They can march on forever.

Echo:

Echo: I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying.

Fives: It’s ‘cause you’re still sad, Echo.

Echo: Oh. I thought this would make me less sad. Sorry.

The Captain:

[The Captain Has Changed Username To Rexed]

Rexed: Yeah, okay.

Rexed: Come on. Come here.

Rexed: Fives, you too.

Rexed: Yeah, and the rest of you. Come on, sit down, there we go.

Rexed: Hey. Look at me.

Rexed: It’s okay that you’re sad, okay? Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it.

Rexed: It’s like a blaster with the trigger locked. All you can do is wait for the noise to stop. You’ve just got to let it happen until it runs out.

Rexed: O’Niner was very proud of all of you. He told you so, remember? I’m sure Nub and Three Two Seven were too.

Rexed: They gave their lives to keep you safe. That’s no small thing. That’s an honour. A terrible honour, but still… you should respect it. You respect that by going on and doing your best.

Echo: And remembering.

Rexed: And remembering, yes.

Rexed: I think it’s a good thing you did, putting them in the game. I don’t know about Nub or Two-Sev, but O’Niner would have been so pleased to be a part of it.

Droidbait: Nub would have loved it.

Cutup: Two Sev too.

Hevy: Maybe it’s better this way. Right? I mean, at least in the game they get a better ending. The ending they deserved. Better than some medal that they never even got to wear.

Fives: … yeah.

Rexed: What’s wrong?

Fives: It’s just…we failed, didn’t we? We were supposed to protect the base, protect our brothers and… and we didn’t do either of those things.

Rexed: No? I count one, two, three, four, five brothers right here that were protected just fine.

Rexed: I could count hundreds of thousands of brothers on Kamino who are still alive and safe because of what you helped do.

Rexed: Just because you lost, doesn’t mean you failed, Fives. It just meant you got experience.

Rexed: And experience is one of the best teachers of all.

Rexed: Never stop learning from it. If you do that, it won’t be a failure at all.

Hugs & Kixxer: @Jesster why are YOU crying??

Jesster: @Hugs & Kixxers Look at them! They’re all so small and sad! They need blankets and hugs! Why aren’t YOU???? Your face could have been forged from beskar!

Hugs & Kixxers: Because if I started crying on the outside in this war I’d never stop. Here, hold these juice packs. I’m going to dig out the special choc ration bars.

Echo: I wish O’Niner and Nub and Two Sev were here.

Echo: I wish…

Hevy: Yeah. I think we all do.

Echo: Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum. Three Two Seven. Nub.

Echo: O’Niner.

Jesster: Oh force, now I’m crying worse! I can’t see anything!

Hugs & Kixxers: Aw, Jesse. You’re such a sap.

Hevy: You know what?

[Hevy Has Changed Username To Hevyweight Champion]

Hevyweight Champion: I just remembered that we’re still here.

Hevyweight Champion: We should start acting like it!

Fives:

[Fives Has Changed Username To Five Alive]

Five Alive: Yeah we are. We’ve got work to do.

Five Alive: The clankers are going to regret letting us escape! We’re only going to get stronger.

[Droidbait Has Changed Username To Droids Fear Me]

Droids Fear Me: Well, maybe not now.

Droids Fear Me: But they’re gonna.

Droids Fear Me: Especially with some of the ideas I got.

Cutup: hmmmm

[Cutup Has Changed Username To Cut To The Quickest]

Cut To The Quickest: What would I have to worry about, facing the Seps?

Cut To The Quickest: If I can climb out of the mouth of a Rishi eel before it eats me, I can do anything!

Hugs & Kixxers: You did what now?

Jesster: Kar… uh, Heck yeah! You tell ‘em vod’ika!

Rexed: That’s the spirit boys!

Hugs & Kixxers: If we could just circle back to the eel, what eel???

Rexed: Now, who wants to tell me how you play this game? I want to try it.

Jesster: ME NEXT! ME NEXT!!!!!

Hugs And Kixxers: Yeah, haha, seriously, the eel…

Echo: Oh, uh… here, you take the controller and um, I’ll show you how to make a profile.

Heavyweight Champion: Wait, do we have a slot available?

Cut To The Quickest: Eh, just delete mine, I want to redo the marksmanship score anyway.

Echo: We don’t need to do that, the game has its own server now.

Droids Fear Me: Hey, yeah! It probably has, like, a million slots.

Jesster: Awesome! We can all play!

Echo: Okay, so, first you go into the startup screen, and it’s basically the same as uploading your database entry into a commline…

Rexed: Okay, yeah, I see how this works.

Hugs & Kixxers: Yeah, okay, everyone not playing, line up so I can scan you. Good force, does no one remember basic health necessities around here?

Hugs & Kixxers: @Cut To The Quickest you first

Cut To The Quickest: Wow, I’ve never seen a medscanner with armour plating before!

Hugs & Kixxers: Trust me, cadet, it’s a hundred percent necessary.

Rexed: Hey! I can’t customise the armour!

Droids Fear Me: Nope!

Hevyweight Champion: Everyone starts as a shiny, Captain.

Echo: You do get to customise it the more missions you do though!

Five Alive: We can’t treat you as a Captain in the game unless we know if you can do what a Captain does. Captain.

Rexed: Brat.

Rexed: Okay.

Rexed: Wait.

Rexed: W A I T

Rexed: The FIRST LEVEL I get to do nothing but shoot feral longnecks?

Rexed: This game is the BEST!

Echo: That’s my favourite level too.

Five Alive: Best idea I ever had.

Five Alive: Also @Echo aren’t you forgetting something?

Echo: What?

Five Alive: Sigh.

Echo: Oh no, not

[Five Alive Has Changed Echo’s Username To Echo Located]

Echo Located: again

Cut To The Quickest: ( ̄∇ ̄ノノ"

Hevyweight Champion: ( ̄∇ ̄ノノ"

Droids Fear Me: ( ̄∇ ̄ノノ"

Rexed: hahahahahaha good one Fives! ( ̄∇ ̄ノノ"

Echo Located: Aww, sir! ☹️☹️☹️

[DM Channel Now Open]

add_#CT-7567, CT-6643

[CT-6643 Has Changed Username To Hard On The Case]

Hard On The Case: Uh, sir?

Hard On The Case: Why were you walking back to your quarters carrying five sleeping tookas?

CT-7567:

[CT-7567 Has Changed User Name To Rexed And Confused]

Rexed And Confused: Hardcase

Rexed And Confused: Have you been to the special section of engineering again?

Hard On The Case: No! I haven’t had a drop!

Hard On The Case: I just got released from the medbay!

Rexed And Confused:

Rexed And Confused: Well I don’t know what I can tell you, Corporal.

Rexed And Confused: Why would I be carrying five tookas anywhere?

Rexed And Confused: That’s not exactly normal behaviour for me. Wouldn’t you agree?

Hard On The Case: Yes sir???

Hard On The Case: But… you were…

Rexed And Confused: Are you sure you’re not dreaming, vod?

Hard On The Case: But…

Hard On The Case: I guess… I’ll just… go back to medbay.

Rexed And Confused: Probably for the best. Good luck, Corporal.

Commline 501st Is the GREATEST (Opinions of the 212th not permitted) is Active

[82 Members are Online]

Denial: Hey, quick question.

Denial: Does anyone know why Hardcase was walking to the medbay crying and talking about tookas?

Mixed Emotions: Nope.

The Padacommander: No???

Appoachable: Can’t say I do.

Appoachable: @Co(le)ric ? Any thoughts

[Co(le)ric Is Online]

Co(le)ric: Busy!

[Co(le)ric Is Offline]

Mixed Emotions: Well that was enlightening.

[On The (Hard)Case Is Online]

On The (Hard)Case: THEY’RE IN THE VENTS! THEY’RE EVERYWHERE! THEY’VE GOT THE CAPTAIN! TOOOOOOOKAAAAAAAAAAS!

On The (Hard)Case: HEEELUYIKXRFKOCDUTGXCF!

[On The (Hard)Case Is Offline]

[Co(le)ric Is Online]

Co(le)ric: Cpl Hardcase has had his comm privileges revoked and is under medical supervision. Please do not @ him at this time.

[Co(le)ric Is Offline]

Denial: That was significantly less enlightening.

Denial: @Appoachable ? Orders?

Appoachable:

Appoachable: Nope.

[Appoachable Is Offline]

Mixed Emotions: He actually dipped!

Denial: What is going on on this ship??

The Padacommander: I don’t know.

The Padacommander: But I’m gonna find out!

Mixed Emotions:

Mixed Emotions: Nope!

[Mixed Emotions Is Offline]

Denial:

Denial: You know what?

[Denial Is Offline]

The Padacommander: HEY! I’M NOT THAT BAD!

Commline O’Niner’s Rookies is Active

[5 Members are Online]

Droids Fear Me: Hey @Five Alive did you ever look in that bag the Sarge gave you?

Five Alive: Actually… no.

Hevyweight Champion: You never even peeked?

Five Alive: A lot was happening, I guess I just forgot. I stuffed it under Rex’s bed.

Echo Located: Hang on… um… I got it!

Cut To The Quickest: Hard to believe that this is all that made it off Rishi.

Hevyweight Champion: Aside from us.

Echo Located: The sarge said it was for us. That it belonged to us.

Droids Fear Me: What are you waiting for, Fives, open it, open it, open it!

Five Alive: Hang on, uh… there we go.

Heavyweight Champion: It looks like an old ammo lockbox.

Cut To The Quickest: How do we get it open? We don’t have the code.

Echo Located: Seven Four Oh Nine

Droids Fear Me: Seven Four Oh Nine

Droids Fear Me: The sarge always was bad at creative passcodes.

Five Alive: Okay, I’m trying it.

Hevyweight Champion: I can’t believe that worked!

Droids Fear Me: Awwww, sarge!

Cut To The Quickest: Wait a second. Is THAT

Echo Located: … the virus?

Hevyweight Champion: That’s the KRIFFING VIRUS! THE TOOKA VIRUS!

Droids Fear Me: Look at it all! There must be thousands of those little glowy ball things!

Five Alive: I…

Fives Alive: He… he must have taken it from the lab before he blasted it.

Hevyweight Champion: But why??? It’s dangerous!

Cut To The Quickest: There’s probably enough here to infect the entire GAR!

Droids Fear Me: Why give this to us? What for???

Echo Located:

Five Alive:

Hevyweight Champion: Alright, what’s that look about, you two?

Echo Located: It’s to help in our mission. The one that sarge gave us. Before he marched.

Hevyweight Champion: What mission???

Five Alive: To save our brothers.

Echo Located: To save the vod’e.

Five Alive: And that’s what we’re going to do.

Little Sharp Toothed Privates - Chapter 19 - Moxibustion (RyuuzaKochou) - Star Wars (2025)
Top Articles
Latest Posts
Recommended Articles
Article information

Author: Dr. Pierre Goyette

Last Updated:

Views: 5955

Rating: 5 / 5 (50 voted)

Reviews: 89% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Dr. Pierre Goyette

Birthday: 1998-01-29

Address: Apt. 611 3357 Yong Plain, West Audra, IL 70053

Phone: +5819954278378

Job: Construction Director

Hobby: Embroidery, Creative writing, Shopping, Driving, Stand-up comedy, Coffee roasting, Scrapbooking

Introduction: My name is Dr. Pierre Goyette, I am a enchanting, powerful, jolly, rich, graceful, colorful, zany person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.